In the past year, we have welcomed in 38 new children to Amigos de Jesus. Each time a new child or family is welcomed to the hogar they are typically brought here by members of the staff and on occasion volunteers are asked to accompany these trips. As of a few months ago I hadn’t yet been on a pickup.
Our children come from many different places in the departmentos in the surrounding areas. Many are brought to us from other hogars or orphanages, private and state-run. Their backgrounds and maltreatment vary as do their coping mechanisms. They come to us not knowing what a special, safe and beautiful place Amigos is and because of this they are typically very scared and unsure when they arrive. More often then not, they form a closer bond to the person or persons who brought them here, especially if those people foster the bond they made in the days after their arrival. Two months ago I was asked to accompany our multi-talented lawyer, Suyapa, in picking up a family of four siblings and another little girl to take back to the Hogar. I leapt at the opportunity to go with her, to understand -even if fractionally – just how overwhelming this process is for the children.
It was a terribly hot day in San Pedro Sula. Miguel drove Suyapa and myself into San Pedro early to make some purchases for the hogar prior to picking up our 5 new children. We ended up getting fans for the schools and dinning hall.
A little after lunch we made our way to the juzgado (court) in El Progresso. We climbed out of the car and made our way into the judicial building. It was big and white and a little worn looking on the outside. I didn’t realize how nervous I would be until I got there. All I knew was we were picking up a 10-year old boy, an 8-year old girl, two 5-year olds and a 3-year old. They were coming to us from an orphanage that specializes in caring for malnourished children and had been there for over 4 months. I was nervous because I had no idea how they would react to us, if they would be happy or as I feared, sad and angry. The most important thing I wanted for them was to feel safe with us. How can you explain to such small children that in coming to Amigos they would have a home for the rest of their lives, no more shuffling around, no more being displaced; they would have a place in the world to call their own.
We entered a small office to the right of the entrance. It looked like any waiting room, though on the smaller side with limited seating. Abogada (Suyapa) did the normal introductions and the man behind the counter told us that the lawyer from the other home hadn’t arrived with the children yet and that we could sit and wait. So I did just that while Abogada filled out some paperwork and made small talk with the people in the office — who she clearly knew well having been there so many times before. It was really cool getting to see her in her element, she was skilled at getting what she wanted while strengthening professional ties to the people she dealt with and would continue to deal with in the future. (Amigos is truly lucky to have her.)
I sat down on one of the chairs while we awaited the kids arrival, there was a family sitting to my right already. By the looks of it they were there to discuss their children’s well-being with the judge. The kids looked a little unkempt and were unruly while the parents appeared on edge. It was one of those gringa moments. They stared at me, I said “Hola, que tal? and they responded but continued to stare. I can only imagine that it was odd to see a tall, blonde hair, green eyed white girl sitting in the middle of a Honduran children’s welfare office, but there I was. I think in total we were there for about an hour waiting. I watched the family trying to guess why they might have been there. I prayed that their teenagers were looked after and hadn’t been involved in all the gang activity that is widespread in San Pedro Sula. In the middle of that thought process, Abogada got a call to say the kids were five minutes out.
15 minutes later, five little pip-squeeks walked in. The tallest and oldest looking was a girl, meaning the only boy, who we were told would be 10 was excessively short for his age. We then found out he was actually five and somewhere along the way the information had got mixed up but at least he wasn’t the size of a 5-year old at age 10, right? The kids shuffling in very solemnly, it was clear that they were uncomfortable and nervous, they couldn’t even crack a smile when we joked with them or told them we were going to get them a big lunch. The smallest one who we found out was named – Keila – was covered in vomit. She had gotten car sick on the long trip, but seemed perfectly content with whoever was holding her so I took and her and had the other four follow me to sit done while Suyapa did the paperwork. The family that had been in the office prior to their arrival kept trying to get them to talk and smile but the kids simply couldn’t. The driver that brought them ( I don’t know his relationship to the kids, he could have been a caretaker at the other home) was the only one who brought a smile to any of their faces. Reina, the oldest one, cracked a smile first when he told her to take care and that he would miss her. He told them all to trust Suyapa and I, that we would take care of them. They might have doubted him, but they did not cry when the two people they knew best left them in our charge and they came with us readily. We hopped into the truck. Little Keila sat with Suyapa and the rest sat next to her vying for a seat next to the window.
We asked the kids if they were hungry, they nodded yes. We asked what they wanted to eat and no one gave a preference, so we stuck to yes or no questions and decided to get tacos. Since Keila was covered in throw up we took them to a store that is similar to a US Target, where we could get some food and get her new clothes and some Dramamine for the ride back to ADJ. The kids were silent the whole way to the store.
We brought them over to the food area and got a table for six. Suyapa ordered them tacos with sprite. And while we waited for the food, she went and got some medicine and then found Keila a new outfit. For those 20 minutes I was alone with the kids, they seemed to realize in that time that we were not there to hurt them and they were becoming more comfortable with me at the very least. They started talking to each other and then to me. Reina borrowed my phone and fought with Sindy over who could take the most pictures with it (even though the sim card only help 5 photos.) They started getting antsy and running around a bit, but never strayed too far away. Just when I thought I was going to have to reprimand them to all sit down Suyapa came back. I had them all take a trip to the bathroom, we gave them all medicine for the 2 hour ride back, changed Keila and headed out. Keila was beyond excited to get a new outfit and the other kids looked a little surprised that we would just buy one for her. All the kids had begun to show their own unique personalities and there were some previously hidden smiles that they let shine.
Two-hours of sleeping kids later we pulled up to the Amigos de Jesus gate. All of our kids and staff were waiting to welcome in the siblings and Sindy Estafani. And I got out of the car with them. All 5 clung to me. I had Keila in my ams, Reina was holding fast to my hand, Blanca and Jose Alexi (who we later found out are twins) held hands and Blanca had my leg and Sindy Held on to Reina. Suffice to say they were overwhelmed and terrified by the experience. And rightfully so because it could have been nothing but terrifying to be introduced to a family of 90+ people. But the walked through the gate withme. I told everyone their names and everyone applauded and some of the other littlest kids hugged them and were eager to show them their beds. They all looked up with me, with their big brown eyes and we headed in that directions, trailing the chiquitos who were screaming with glee.
I showed them to their new room, and Silvia, ho is 6, helped show them where their new beds were and then an enclosed playground behind their room. Sindy flew outside holding hands with Kenia and Katerine and the 4 siblings remained with me, clearly overwhelmed. I sat with them for a while, if only because I couldn’t move very far with eight hands clinging onto me. They watched all the kids play. Many of the kids were curious about them and came to try and play or introduce themselves. When this happened, they drew closer to my body and waited to speak until the kids left. They were standoffish for that first half hour. Finally the dinner bell rang and I brought them into the comedor to eat. We were having pizza, they weren’t interested. All the young ones looked to Reina for how they should be acting and what they were doing. She wasn’t eating so neither would they. After 15 minutes I finally got Sindy Estefani to eat and then Alexis followed suit with Blanca. Keila said she didn’t like the food so I got some beans for her and Reina, but still they didn’t eat much. After prayer everyone exited the comedor but I continued to sit with them, telling that the food was good. Assuring them that if they did decide they didn’t want it eat, they could have more food later. But they slowly began eating, they seemed to relax and when they were done we washed the plates together and headed back for their room.
When we arrived to their room all the other chiquitos were well underway in showering and changing for bed. It took about 25 minutes of coaxing and promising that we would not steal their clothing for Reina to allow us to change her siblings and finally her to get ready to sleep. I assured them that their clothing would be under their bed and that no one would touch it without their permission. And then I asked the madrinas if they could follow-through on that just for the night, they readily agreed. Finally they climbed into bed and after a long day I left them with the madrinas, but not before giving each of them a big hug and promising to see them the next morning. They didn’t want me to go, but I knew if I stayed with them, it would only make their transition take longer. They had to continue to learn to trust the staff at Amigos so I left them with their madrinas.
It had been a hard day overall, it was so hard to watch just how insecure the kids felt, how scared they were and how they clung to me – only because they had known me the longest in that 12 hour period. At just 8-years , Reina was fiercely protective of her siblings, and they looked up to her like a mother, Sindy included. It was sad to me that she had to assume a position like that at such a young age. The next morning I visiting them later in the morning, they were all outside playing with the younger kids. I smiled. How easy it had been for them to open up. Keila saw me first and ran over from the swing arms wide open and then the other 4. I was nearly knocked over and Iasked them how their night was, they told me how great their beds were, that they had pancakes for breakfast and that they were going to go swimming later with the other kids. Over the next week I made it a point to visit them a few times a day in their room, eat with them at meals and say good night to them. It’s been two months and to watch them transform has been interesting. I still have a special connection with each of them, especially Reina. They are all so loving and open with the others kids and staff now. They are resilient and can now call this place home. To my little patitos:
My Adventure in Honduras 