In thanksgiving

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to restate my deepest thank you to all my friends and family who helped me get to this beautiful place and encouraged me to do something that I absolutely love, something that fulfills in a way nothing else has. I could not be here without your encouragement or your love and support.

Thank you for your prayers.

Thank you for your interest.

Thank you for believing in me.

You have given me an invaluable gift, you helped me reach one of my dreams in life and you continue to support me in this. And since I don’t write all that frequently I though a action of thanks could be to tell you more about the place you have encouraged me to go to.

When I went home in October many people asked me how my work was, did I like it? Was it hard? How was my Spanish? What has moved me in my time here? And, where has I seen the hand of God? To summarize it all, this past year and a half has changed my life. And for the better.

My work is forever adapting to meet the needs of the home but it is well worth my time and effort, especially if it puts a smile on a child’s face and I love it. I no longer teach preschool but have transitioned to work many hours in the office, helping with special projects, organizing our donations in the bodega, taking pictures, posting to the Amigos Blog, and serving as the coordinator for the new volunteers. My favorite side job is running an afterschool program for the girls. It’s all about empowering them, giving them a place to voice their fears, their successes and to learn to express themselves.When not in the office of doing those side jobs the most important thing is just being with the kids. Technically this is part of my work —  learning more about the kids and entertaining them. This, however, rarely feels like a job. In fact it feels like being with my 100 younger brothers and sisters and just enjoying each other’s company or playing (with the occasional -, or frequent, redirection of behavior…because they are kids, you know.) So yes, I love my work. It consumes all of my time (minus sleeping and a couple hours of reading before bed) but I wouldn’t have it any other way. And sometime, yes it can be hard and draining and overwhelm me but mostly it’s just rewarding. And if it weren’t all of those things then I wouldn’t be growing, learning and opening my heart up and if those were no longer true then I would no longer be here for the right reasons. So tengo suerte, I have a job I love and it helps fulfill me.

As for my Spanish it’s mas o menos, with room to improve. More often than not Spanish speakers know what I am talking about, so that is always a plus. I can hold a conversation and staff members are comfortable enough with me that they now correct me when I am wrong (score!)  Perhaps I downplay how good I have gotten at it but I want to be better, and there is nothing wrong with having some goals, right? When I come home in 2014, I plan to take formal Spanish classes, because I want to understand the formation and grammar better and in doing this I think my Spanish skills will improve tremendously.

My two favorite and the hardest questions I am asked are ‘what has moved me in my time here or where have I seen God’s hand at work.’ My answer is this: Almost everything I have seen at Amigos de Jesus has moved me. The biggest being the transformation that our children go through in coming to this oasis. Because for them Amigos is comparable to finding water in a desert. They come thirsting to be loved, to be taken care of, to grow and to simply be children, and to lose the fear that shadowed their bright and beautiful eyes. In the time that I have been here, we have welcomed in a little under 50 new children. Each, as you know, coming from some horrible home life or lack thereof. Some come to us fearful of everything and everyone, some believe that they mean nothing and are of no importance to anyone, others come angry and explosive and some come with a dark cloud over them. But, it doesn’t matter what has happened to them, what they’ve been through, who they were – we love them, in spite of everything we love them and the other children love them and it’s unconditional. And that love is something many have never felt before. And that my friends is God’s hand, he makes these children easy to love and blessed Amigos de Jesus with such loving staff and children. Love is the foundation of this place. And that mixed with the stability and accountability at Amigos transforms our children so that they let their true selves shine. And even when a child may seem like they will never stop being angry or that their behavior just won’t change, it does change, it always does. I have never seen a child not change after arriving here. They learn to love, and to laugh again and to thirst for hugs and kisses and to play and to just be kids, with the freedom to be happy. And they aren’t perfect, neither are we, they still get angry or can’t express themselves age-appropriately but they get better little by little. And each inch of that improvement is a victory on their part. What moves me is that the lives of these children have changed forever in coming to live at ADJ and that they now have brighter futures.  And just knowing that they have the opportunity to succeed in life, that moves me more than anything.

Something great that is starting to shape up in the US is a documentary named the Least of Us: A Story of Hope and Healing…guess what it’s about? OUR KIDS. I don’t know much about the story line, but I do know I am excited to see it when it is finished. The film crew came in October to get footage of kids, do interviews and generally get a feel for Amigos de Jesus. They will be back to film more in the coming months. But today, they revealed their poster. You can check out their facebook and see the new poster there (hopefully you will “like” it literally!) I have an inkling that the plot may be based on that last paragraph I wrote…but that’s just speculation.

The picture they are using for the poster melted my heart. You may recognize the majority of those children as my former preschool class! How cute are they?

I thought I would post this youtube video, because I like this song a lot and it fits how I feel today

 

Fundraising Again

Dear Family and Friends,
 For the past 15 months I have been in Honduras completing a year of service at a children’s home named Amigos de Jesus. In the time I have spent at the orphanage I have lived out some of the best moments of my life and have also learned some of life’s hardest lessons. The time I have spent at Amigos de Jesus has enabled me to grow tremendously as an individual and I can now call the children and staff at Amigos de Jesus as a part of my family. Because I have learned and received exponentially more my first year of service than I was able to give or teach in return, I have decided to extend my year of service. So, I am excited to say that I will continue to work with Amigos de Jesus until August 2014.

 

As with many service programs and similarly to last year, I have been asked to help fundraise a portion of the funds it will cost for my upkeep in the coming year.

 

HELP ME REACH MY GOAL!!

My goal is to raise $4,000. Please know that every penny of your donation will go directly to the Amigos de Jesús program and will support my year of service as well as provide some of the funds necessary for running the orphanage.
If you would be interested in donating here are two great ways you can do it!
1. You can send a check made payable to Amigos de Jesús to the US office located at 126 Woodland Ave. Malvern, PA 19355. If you wish to send donations directly to this office, please indicate that the donation is for me (Meg Ryan!) This may be done by writing my name on the memo line of the check or in an attached note. (Otherwise the money will be donated to a general fund)
2. You can donate with a credit card or Pay Pal account online at [[http://amigosdejesus.org/index.php/es/how-to-help/make-a-donation ]] Under special instructions donors can indicate that the donation is to be allocated to me (Meg!)
Remember no donation is ever too small, every dollar helps me reach my goal!!. Thank you in advance if you are able and willing to make a contribution.

If you cannot donate or do not wish to please just send good thoughts and vibes to me and my fellow volunteers and we prepare for the upcoming year!!

A Place to Call Home

In the past year, we have welcomed in 38 new children to Amigos de Jesus. Each time a new child or family is welcomed to the hogar they are typically brought here by members of the staff and on occasion volunteers are asked to accompany these trips. As of a few months ago I hadn’t yet been on a pickup.

Our children come from many different places in the departmentos in the surrounding areas. Many are brought to us from other hogars or orphanages, private and state-run. Their backgrounds and maltreatment vary as do their coping mechanisms. They come to us not knowing what a special, safe and beautiful place Amigos is and because of this they are typically very scared and unsure when they arrive. More often then not, they form a closer bond to the person or persons who brought them here, especially if those people foster the bond they made in the days after their arrival. Two months ago I was asked to accompany our multi-talented lawyer, Suyapa, in picking up a family of four siblings and another little girl to take back to the Hogar. I leapt at the opportunity to go with her, to understand -even if fractionally – just how overwhelming this process is for the children.

It was a terribly hot day in San Pedro Sula. Miguel drove Suyapa and myself into San Pedro early to make some purchases for the hogar prior to picking up our 5 new children. We ended up getting fans for the schools and dinning hall.

A little after lunch we made our way to the juzgado (court) in El Progresso. We climbed out of the car and made our way into the judicial building. It was big and white and a little worn looking on the outside. I didn’t realize how nervous I would be until I got there. All I knew was we were picking up a 10-year old boy, an 8-year old girl, two 5-year olds and a 3-year old. They were coming to us from an orphanage that specializes in caring for malnourished children and had been there for over 4 months. I was nervous because I had no idea how they would react to us, if they would be happy or as I feared, sad and angry. The most important thing I wanted for them was to feel safe with us. How can you explain to such small children that in coming to Amigos they would have a home for the rest of their lives, no more shuffling around, no more being displaced; they would have a place in the world to call their own.

We entered a small office to the right of the entrance. It looked like any waiting room, though on the smaller side with limited seating. Abogada (Suyapa) did the normal introductions and the man behind the counter told us that the lawyer from the other home hadn’t arrived with the children yet and that we could sit and wait. So I did just that while Abogada filled out some paperwork and made small talk with the people in the office — who she clearly knew well having been there so many times before. It was really cool getting to see her in her element, she was skilled at getting what she wanted while strengthening professional ties to the people she dealt with and would continue to deal with in the future. (Amigos is truly lucky to have her.)

I sat down on one of the chairs while we awaited the kids arrival, there was a family sitting to my right already. By the looks of it they were there to discuss their children’s well-being with the judge. The kids looked a little unkempt and were unruly while the parents appeared on edge. It was one of those gringa moments. They stared at me, I said “Hola, que tal? and they responded but continued to stare. I can only imagine that it was odd to see a tall, blonde hair, green eyed white girl sitting in the middle of a Honduran children’s welfare office, but  there I was. I think in total we were there for about an hour waiting. I watched the family trying to guess why they might have been there. I prayed that their teenagers were looked after and hadn’t been involved in all the gang activity that is widespread in San Pedro Sula. In the middle of that thought process, Abogada got a call to say the kids were five minutes out.

15 minutes later, five little pip-squeeks walked in. The tallest and oldest looking was a girl, meaning the only boy, who we were told would be 10 was excessively short for his age. We then found out he was actually five and somewhere along the way the information had got mixed up but at least he wasn’t the size of a 5-year old at age 10, right? The kids shuffling in very solemnly, it was clear that they were uncomfortable and nervous, they couldn’t even crack a smile when we joked with them or told them we were going to get them a big lunch. The smallest one who we found out was named – Keila – was covered in vomit. She had gotten car sick on the long trip, but seemed perfectly content with whoever was holding her so I took and her and had the other four follow me to sit done while Suyapa did the paperwork. The family that had been in the office prior to their arrival kept trying to get them to talk and smile but the kids simply couldn’t. The driver that brought them ( I don’t know his relationship to the kids, he could have been a caretaker at the other home) was the only one who brought a smile to any of their faces. Reina, the oldest one, cracked a smile first when he told her to take care and that he would miss her. He told them all to trust Suyapa and I, that we would take care of them. They might have doubted him, but they did not cry when the two people they knew best left them in our charge and they came with us readily. We hopped into the truck. Little Keila sat with Suyapa and the rest sat next to her vying for a seat next to the window.

We asked the kids if they were hungry, they nodded yes. We asked what they wanted to eat and no one gave a preference, so we stuck to yes or no questions and decided to get tacos. Since Keila was covered in throw up we took them to a store that is similar to a US Target, where we could get some food and get her new clothes and some Dramamine for the ride back to ADJ. The kids were silent the whole way to the store.

We brought them over to the food area and got a table for six. Suyapa ordered them tacos with sprite. And while we waited for the food, she went and got some medicine and then found Keila a new outfit. For those 20 minutes I was alone with the kids, they seemed to realize in that time that we were not there to hurt them and they were becoming more comfortable with me at the very least. They started talking to each other and then to me. Reina borrowed my phone and fought with Sindy over who could take the most pictures with it (even though the sim card only help 5 photos.) They started getting antsy and running around a bit, but never strayed too far away. Just when I thought I was going to have to reprimand them to all sit down Suyapa came back. I had them all take a trip to the bathroom, we gave them all medicine for the 2 hour ride back, changed Keila and headed out. Keila was beyond excited to get a new outfit and the other kids looked a little surprised that we would just buy one for her. All the kids had begun to show their own unique personalities and there were some previously hidden smiles that they let shine.

Two-hours of sleeping kids later we pulled up to the Amigos de Jesus gate. All of our kids and staff were waiting to welcome in the siblings and Sindy Estafani. And I got out of the car with them. All 5 clung to me. I had Keila in my ams, Reina was holding fast to my hand, Blanca and Jose Alexi (who we later found out are twins) held hands and Blanca had my leg and Sindy Held on to Reina. Suffice to say they were overwhelmed and terrified by the experience. And rightfully so because it could have been nothing but terrifying to be introduced to a family of 90+ people. But the walked through the gate withme. I told everyone their names and everyone applauded and some of the other littlest kids hugged them and were eager to show them their beds. They all looked up with me, with their big brown eyes and we headed in that directions, trailing the chiquitos who were screaming with glee. 

I showed them to their new room, and Silvia, ho is 6, helped show them where their new beds were and then an enclosed playground behind their room. Sindy flew outside holding hands with Kenia and Katerine and the 4 siblings remained with me, clearly overwhelmed. I sat with them for a while, if only because I couldn’t move very far with eight hands clinging onto me. They watched all the kids play. Many of the kids were curious about them and came to try and play or introduce themselves. When this happened, they drew closer to my body and waited to speak until the kids left. They were standoffish for that first half hour. Finally the dinner bell rang and I brought them into the comedor to eat. We were having pizza, they weren’t interested. All the young ones looked to Reina for how they should be acting and what they were doing. She wasn’t eating so neither would they. After 15 minutes I finally got Sindy Estefani to eat and then Alexis followed suit with Blanca. Keila said she didn’t like the food so I got some beans for her and Reina, but still they didn’t eat much. After prayer everyone exited the comedor but I continued to sit with them, telling that the food was good. Assuring them that if they did decide they didn’t want it eat, they could have more food later. But they slowly began eating, they seemed to relax and when they were done we washed the plates together and headed back for their room.

When we arrived to their room all the other chiquitos were well underway in showering and changing for bed. It took about 25 minutes of coaxing and promising that we would not steal their clothing for Reina to allow us to change her siblings and finally her to get ready to sleep. I assured them that their clothing would be under their bed and that no one would touch it without their permission. And then I asked the madrinas if they could follow-through on that just for the night, they readily agreed. Finally they climbed into bed and after a long day I left them with the madrinas, but not before giving each of them a big hug and promising to see them the next morning. They didn’t want me to go, but I knew if I stayed with them, it would only make their transition take longer. They had to continue to learn to trust the staff at Amigos so I left them with their madrinas.

It had been a hard day overall, it was so hard to watch just how insecure the kids felt, how scared they were and how they clung to me – only because they had known me the longest in that 12 hour period. At just 8-years , Reina was fiercely protective of her siblings, and they looked up to her like a mother, Sindy included. It was sad to me that she had to assume a position like that at such a young age. The next morning I visiting them later in the morning, they were all outside playing with the younger kids. I smiled. How easy it had been for them to open up. Keila saw me first and ran over from the swing arms wide open and then the other 4. I was nearly knocked over and Iasked them how their night was, they told me how great their beds were, that they had pancakes for breakfast and that they were going to go swimming later with the other kids. Over the next week I made it a point to visit them a few times a day in their room, eat with them at meals and say good night to them. It’s been two months and to watch them transform has been interesting. I still have a special connection with each of them, especially Reina. They are all so loving and open with the others kids and staff now. They are resilient and can now call this place home. To my little patitos:

As always, it’s been a while

Hello Family and Friends. I apologize once again for how often I neglect to update all of you.  A lot has gone on since May. For instance I have been home and back in that time. The container of goods finally came last night and we’ve gotten at least 6 new kids in that time. Where to start then? I suppose I will start where I left off.

June

In the first week of June I made my way stateside for the first time in a year. I went primarily to help out in our offices in Philly and afterwards I continued onto Boston. In Philly — really Malvern and Phoenixville (suburbs of Philly) I spent my time getting to know the other side of Amigos de Jesus, the office side. Donors, paperwork, spreading the ADJ message ect. Originally my visit was planned around helping to pack the container we were sending with hundreds of donations but as luck…or misfortune would have it, bad weather delayed my flight for an unexpected overnight stay in Miami thus preventing me from reaching Malvern until 3pm the following day. That seemingly small chunk of time was allotted for sorting donations and packing the container to be shipped and I had missed it, kind of ironic when that was one of the only reasons for going to Malvern in the first place. But if Honduras has taught me anything it’s don’t sweat the small stuff, because sometimes things are just unavoidable and there’s no use getting stressed and worked up about it. That morning though, Emily, our executive director had a team of volunteers ready to go and they did a wonderful job sorting donations and getting what would be useful to us in Honduras onto the container. When I finally got to meet up with everybody they were in a local restaurant and clearly pooped but they were oddly very enthusiastic after hours of packed a container. I got to meet everyone in the group and they asked me a ton of questions about the Hogar, my flights ect. I was an awesome way to be welcomed home after the layover in Miami. Everyone I met was extremely nice and obviously very supportive of ADJ.

For the next four days I worked with Emily as well as Patricio and Alan (both former volunteers at ADJ) and we discussed some planning for the future at ADJ Hondo as well as helped out with two events stateside. Which included a board meeting to answer any questions the board might have had about the statusof the school or staff ect. The second meeting was with the local Knights of Columbus, we presented a program to them in hopes that they would support ADJ, at the end of our 20 mins they gave a resounding yes and a promise to help get us support at the state level. All in all the trip was informative and enjoyable and probably the best way to ease me back into first world living since everyone knew the kids I had been working with and had lived or worked at Amigos de Jesus. Later in the week I made my way to Boston  and spent the rest of the time I took off with my family and friends, which was excellent.

On my commute to Boston Emily broke the news that Oscarito had passed away, and I feel like I have a lot to say about how I was feeling at the time and how heartbroken I was but I just don’t want to write it here so I will pass along something my boss wrote, because she captures his life here so beautifully.

When I came back to the Hogar I had an overwhelming and wonderful welcome back from the kids and was nearly trampled. It was so good to see them after 12 days of being away. The girls all chanted my name at the gate, it was awesome to know how loved I am here because it is easy to forget sometimes!

Shortly after my trip home we ended Preschool for the year. It was bittersweet to say the least.In the past 8 months, all of our kids have come so far  and it seemed like they were really trying to prove it in our final week. In that last weeks some of our students were making leaps and bounds. Fani learned how to draw stick figures without any help, Brayan could make flowers and they could both(finally) write their names. Some of them were getting really good at cutting straight with scissors and others were finally able to just sit quietly and do their work. We tested them all individually that week and almost all of them had learned our 25 English focus words. Kristin and I were beyond happy to see the progress and we know that our kids will be doing big things next year in Preschool and in their new Kindergarten class. On our last day of school I thought back to the first day and how much of a nightmare it was, I am proud to say that between Kristin, Jose and myself we were able to not only teach our kids some English and school -related skills but more importantly we taught them to be better friends and better listeners — in doing that that have a great set up to be attentive students. I cannot wait to see where they go in the upcoming school year.

July

The highlights from this month include a short mission trip to the Hogar and swimming lessons! In the beginning of the month we welcomed in 18 volunteers for a crazy, hectic and fulfilling week to the Hogar. They helped us out in so many ways and were great entertainment for our kids. They arrived here the 7th of July and left on the 14th. In the week that they were here they helped move a fence from one piece of our property to where our bilingual school is located. Not an easy task, considering the posts are concrete and the physical fence is made of barbed wire. But they did it (in just three days!) We also had a group working in the woodshop for the week where they helped start and finish 6 picnic tables that the kids have been using to do homework and hang out in the shade all this week. We also had summer school for a week and we couldn’t have pulled it off without the extra hands. Our kids got to do a lot of creative projects and just have fun without the structure of a classroom. When the week was over, they were asking us when we were going to do it again.

 The group that visited ranged in ages from 19 to 70 and everyone helped us out in some way- big and small. We were extremely blessed and lucky to have them. And I know the kids were especially excited to have new people to play with. Father Dennis accompanied the group and had mass with the entire Hogar on a few different occasions, which was a nice break from walking to mass 30 mins awayin the heat and mud. Plus he does really excellent homilies that the kids love (and so do the adults!)

Since our kids were so excited about summer school, we have decided to do a modified version this upcoming week. Two days out of the week we will be doing swimming lessons with them at the local pool! I am looking forward to this mainly because so many of our kids are terrible swimmers and give me a heart attack at the river or the pool. Wish us luck!

In addition to the mission trip we hosted, we have been bringing in our new volunteers for next year.  So far we have welcomed in 4, all of whom are in Copan Ruinas for Spanish school. It’s weird to think that a year ago I was there. I have come a long way and have so much more road to cover. I can’t wait for the new group to start but am sad to see the community of volunteers I live with currently leave. The group I came with leaves August 20th.

Until next time — hopefully sooner this time,

 

Meg

As always enjoy some pictures!

A year ago today…

I am feeling oddly nostalgic today. It’s been one year since I moved out from my apartment at Saint Anselm College for the last time and said goodbye to my college. It has been one year since I finished my last service project there, the Food, Clothing and Furniture drive. One year ago today I was sitting in a restaurant celebrating with 20+ other students, relishing the last hours together before summer and celebrating the triumph that is the FCF drive. And even though it was a year ago it feels like yesterday. And For some reason it brings an dull ache to my heart, as if I wished I could do it all over again and be there again. But I know that this is not what I actually wish to do, in fact I don’t think I would even choose college for my do-over years, because the experience I had there is one that shaped me into who I was before I came to Honduras and frankly, college was not the best years of my life (thank-god, because I’m pretty young still!) But I am slightly envious of those getting ready to graduate and who just celebrated the capstone of their college career, because that was my favorite time in college. It was a list of lasts, and the sense of community on campus was never better and everyone finally stopped worrying so much about tests, and due dates and lived in the moment because there wasn’t a lot of time left. And that was refreshing. So I guess I miss the feeling of being with my class, soaking up the final days of college and getting ready for life.

A little story on the FCF drive:
The FCF drive is something unique to Saint Anselm College. It has been in existence for past 5 years, maybe 6 and was founded by a student who saw a great need and a great waste of goods. Each year when students moved out at the end of the year, they left behind furniture, clothing and miscellaneous goods that just couldn’t fit in the car or were unwanted. Most of it got thrown out even though a percentage was in very good condition and perfectly usable. So they started a drive to collect these goods and give them to needy families and programs in the Manchester area. It is a daunting task each year with thousands of donations, 3 u-huals and a group of 15-20 students and one monk (plus the financial backing of many groups within the school!) but every year it gets done. Between 60-75 families receive new furniture, appliances ect. from this drive and for the students it is exhausting but also gratifying. It is the best way one could wish to end their school year coming together as a community and getting to know students you might not otherwise have met. It brings the best of the best together and it’s just kind of fun to be the only ones left on campus.

FCF Today
I called Christina Cavanaro this morning to see how the drive was going this year and she gushed about it for probably 10 mins. I was so happy to hear how everything had been going. They helped our 70 families and found good organizations to act as a catch-all. They were able to put all the donation in the Hockey arena this year which made the sorting process 10x easier and the group of kids was stellar. She said she is excited for the drive to continue in the coming years and it sounds like as the years go on the FCF drive becomes a better working program, with less stress and more fun. So I suppose for this I wish I could do the craziness all over again. There are few opportunities like that in life and I was blessed to have been a part of it. Good work to all the students involved in the drive this year. Please know that you do inspire others and you make a difference in people’s lives, even if it is only minimal. The best part about the drive isn’t just giving away things but having the rare opportunity to learn about the people you are donating to and St.A’s kids have a knack for doing that.

Live for Today
I wish the best of luck to all those graduating a week from now. I hope that you chase your dreams, tackle them and get what you want in life. I have realized from this year of service that living for each day is better than always living for tomorrow. So appreciate each day and don’t wish your time away, be patient.

Oscarito

There are moments for me, where I can actually feel a shift in the person I am becoming. It comes from experiencing life. It can come from the littlest moments to the more obviously profound moments. It can be overwhelming and sometimes might not even be noticeable until after the fact. I have been fortunate enough to have had this feeling at the Hogar more times than I can count and it is helping to shape me into the woman I will one day be. I thought that I would share an experience that is ongoing but has opened my eyes.

A few weeks ago, we met Oscarito. He came to us from a hospital in Santa Rosa, Copan. The second I saw him, I felt something shift in my body. My heart, at the same time, felt immense love for this boy and dropped to my stomach. He was frail, in his eyes there was clear heart break and loss and he was incredibly beautiful. He has the longest eyelashes I have ever seen, and a certain softness to him. He came to us after spending the last month in the hospital, recuperating. Oscar was found on the Guatemalan/Honduran border alone and almost dead. The doctors say he is between the ages of 3 and 8 and he is so severely malnourished that he cannot easily walk, nor is he able to communicate through speech. Oscarito only weighs 28lbs. You can see the outline of his entire ribcage, his butt is non-existent and you can see all the bumps of his spine. But in his face, you can see the face of God. And in his big brown eyes, there is a normal boy, fighting to get out.

He came to us with the escort of 4 nuns from Mother Teresa’s order. They had sent us many children from their own orphanage and they are some of the fiercest women I have had the pleasure of meeting and all incredibly intelligent. They hopped out of the truck, with huge smiles on their faces, dishing out hugs like it was their job and one was holding onto Oscarito. I don’t know what I was expecting when Wilson told me we were getting a new kid who was severely malnourished but I am not sure anything could have prepared me for seeing him. I think the best way to describe it is shock. Like I said, he was frail and was so malnourished that he looked oddly inhuman. But here he was in sea of white and blue habits with big curious eyes. I have never experienced love at first sight until I laid eyes on him.

The nun handed little Oscar to Wilson to hold and he brought him through the front gates of the hogar. I was there to take pictures and while Wilson held him for a few minutes while I examined Oscar through a different lens. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. A few minutes later, Wilson asked me if I wanted to hold Oscar and I said “Sure, why not.” He passed Oscar to me and I immediately felt like I was going to drop him. It was another surprise that I was not expecting when meeting this boy, he wasn’t heavy but the way he held his body or let it slack felt weird and made it awkward to hold him. He was as light as a feather and there was no meat to be found on his bones and I was overcome with sadness. He had been through so much in his short life and he had survived it. How could somebody love him so little? How could it get this bad? How did he get this way? How could God allow this to happen? I held back the tears and gave him a big smile the only thing that I could do and I just stared at his eyes. And he just stared right back into mine.

For the rest of the day I watched him. My eyes were naturally drawn to him, just like his eyes tracked food or drink wherever it went. He ate readily and if he had it his way, he would eat nonstop – I am sure. But it is a long road to recovery and he has to start off small and with the basics. So he is fed small portions, with space in between bites. When he first go here, he was continuously vomit after ingesting food. Not because his stomach couldn’t handle it, but because he wanted to taste the food again. Heartbreaking. I think in the past few weeks he has begun to realize that food will be a staple in his daily life. I hope he realizes that he won’t be deprived of it again, like he had been. But maybe this knowledge will come with time.

Oscarito has only been here for a few weeks and since his first day, and he has improved. He is slowly gaining weight. He is getting better with eating food and he is smiling a lot. His story is more common than it should be, and luckily he was found before the damage to his body became too much. He is part of the Amigos de Jesus family and I am so thankful that of all the places he could have ended up, he came here. The kids love him already and Oscarito can’t offer them much in return but they love him anyway, without condition. I am blessed to be a witness of his life. I hope that one day, there won’t be such injustice in this life.

Visit from Home and The Movies

It’s been a while guys. A little over a month since my last post. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Keeping a blog is a pain in the butt sometimes, mostly because I have never been able to keep a journal and though this is obviously less tedious, sometimes I simply just don’t want to do it. So what have I been up to in the last month some of you wonder. Well I’ve been on two vacations. We’ve gotten 3 new kids. We celebrated Semana Santa (or Holy Week) here at the Hogar, we’ve hosted guests from the US generally have had a blast.p>

So first thing is first. Two of my best friends came to visit me in the second week of March. Janine and Caryn arrived on a beautiful sunny Monday (a very hot day, I might add.) They are the first of my friends and family to come and see the Hogar. I was pretty nervous. I know the Hogar is a magical place, but sometimes I can forget just how great it is, or how it appears to visitors. I wasn’t sure if it would be their cup of tea so to say.

Their flight arrived at noon and much like the day we (the volunteers) arrived in Honduras, they got stuck in customs for about 45 minutes. After an hour, I am still standing outside the gate waiting. I get to see what seems like hundreds of families and friends reunite, and the amount of people exiting baggage claim is a trickle at best. When I saw the first person exit from their flight and meet their family, who happened to be right in front of me, it hit me that I was so excited to see these two ladies and that I have missed them, more than I thought. [I have know Caryn since middle school and Janine since freshmen year field hockey. They are two people that I can go months without seeing and just pick up right where I left off with them. I think that’s a telling sign of a good friendship.]

I was passing my time talking to Nahun, one of the Amigos employees who drove me to San Pedro to get them when I finally see two gringas, one with brown hair and the other with orange and blonde, hair, gauges and a few visible tattoos exit baggage claim, there they are! They look a little overwhelmed especially since I am blocked by a huge family in front of me so I push by, saying “permiso” of course and I hug them both. I don’t think they saw me until I already had my arms around them, but once it registered that it was me the hugged back haha. A few minutes later, we were off and on the hour and half long car ride to the Hogar. We talked the whole ride there (poor Nahun) and they got to see San Pedro, and the countryside — most of which is impoverished and I think might have shocked them both a little bit. When we finally got to the Hogar, all the kids were at the gate ready to welcome them in and started clapping when they got out of the car. We hopped out and the little kids flocked to them, asking them what their names were and giving them hugs. For the next few hours, I took the girls on a tour around the property, showed them where they would sleep and they got to meet all the important people in my life at the Hogar (so everyone haha.) We walked up to the cross shortly before dinner to watch the sunset and they both commented on how beautiful this place was. They loved it Amigos de Jesus, finally I felt like I could breath a little easier. Sharing something you love so much and having someone else love it just as much is wonderful.

The following day, they helped me teach my second grade Art class, get a few projects done and then we just got to hang out. In the afternoon, we went to the rio with three of the older boys to go swimming — well Janine went swimming with them haha. It was too cold for me and Caryn. When we got back we played in the soccer game with a bunch of the middle school boys. They got a kick out of us playing. We ate dinner in the comedor and after dinner the oldest boys played a soccer game under the lights so we headed to the futbol field to watch it. And that night they went to prayer circle with us, which they loved (so many hugs afterwards.) After a day and half at theHogar we left to make our way to Copan Ruinas. I hadn’t been there since Spanish school and I was very happy to be back. Copan is a truly beautiful and peaceful town in Honduras. It was nice to not feel so on guard in public and it also made me happy that my Spanish had improved ten-fold since I had left there.

We booked the nicest hotel in town, it had a pool and a nice restaurant and bar and it was luxurious in comparison to all the places I had stayed in the last year outside of the Hogar and my Host families house. (the nicest hotel only costs 120 a night — split by three people, not bad) For the next few days I had AWESOME food, got to walk around town and just relax with the girls. I had themmeet my host mother and to see the Spanish school we studied at. At night we went out for dinner and drinks and were typically in bed by 11. Unfortunately for the girls, the weather was terrible the whole time we were away and there was a protest at the Mayan Ruins so they didn’t see them. But we did get to go to the Agua Thermales — or hot water springs and since it wasn’t hot, the hot water was actually enjoyable.

The springs were beautiful and the hotel arranged our transportation for us. On the way back the road was so crappy from rain that we got stuck for about an hour in what can only be described as wet clay. We got out of the van to try and help push but the second my flip flop hit the ground it suctioned to the road…uh oh and that was comical in and of itself because I couldn’t even make it back to the back of the car or the other side of the road for that matter with my shoes on…so I took them off, which proved to be equally as dangerous. I guess the hotel is lucky that we weren’t snoody guests, because we thought the whole ordeal was pretty funny – a pain in the butt, yes- but funny. Our shoes/feet ended up caked with clay, the drivers were sweaty and clay was caked on their clothes and hands, instead of arriving back in a normal time frame (having left at 9 am) we got back around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. So much for going to the bird park in the afternoon. But even with the transportation part we had fun at the springs and I know I for one, would go back- but probably during better weather. When we got back to the hotel, we were still covered in clay and the desk manager kind of just looked at us like – where is your decency haha but naturally we didn’t care too much. Later that night before we left for dinner he asked me if we had had fun and that the drivers told him what happened. I could tell he was going to apologize but I couldn’t help but laugh which got in the way of apologizing and I think he realized it wasn’t a big deal to us. The next morning at 5:00am we left to catch a bus and made our way back to the Hogar and then continued on our way to San Pedro to drop the Caryn and Janine off at the airport. It was sad to see them go, but they had a blast while here. I was very happy to have been about to share some of my life in Honduras with them!

Going to the Movies:
Holy week is a big deal in Honduras. Most people (those that can afford it, so maybe not most) flock to the beach or lake for the week with their family and by Wednesday nearly everyone in Honduras is on vacation time. At the hogar we set up a pool for the kids outside, had daily activities planned and various camping trips and days. On the first day of Holy Week Amy and Wilson asked Chepe and I to see if we could set up something fun for the kids and suggested a trip to the movies/mall in San Pedro. So we did just that. We decided that it should only be a trip for those kids who hadn’t received detention in school, had good academics and were well-behaved at the Hoagr, especially since we had limited space in the vans. The first group comprised of kids from 7th to 9th grade, and the second group was mixed with some of our youngest kids (2nd, 3rd, 4th and 6th grade) as well as our oldest kids (9th to 12th grade.) Each kid got 150 Lempiras for spending (a little more than 10 dollars…which surprisingly goes far in this country) and also get to choose the movie they would like to see. The choices were: Jack the Giant Slayer, Oz: El Poderoso , or a movie about cavemen – in Spanish it’s called Los Crods but I have no idea what that translates to in English. It was such an awesome opportunity to get to take the kids to the Mall. It’s easy to forget that some of these kids had never been in a building so big before or had sat in a movie theater, or ordered food from a fast food place or have even seen a mall before. On the morning of the first trip all the kids who were going, were outside and ready probably an hour before departure and you could feel their excitement. The same thing happened with the second trip.

There were some really great moments on both days. On the first day I had to the bank to cash a check and asked two of our volunteers to stay with the boys downstairs or to walk around with them. As I was standing outside waiting for the bank to open I saw all the boys get off the elevator (coming from floor 1 to floor 3) and simply just looking awestruck. Most had never seen an elevator let alone know what one was. The things we take for granted, huh? Rachel was laughing when she got off and said that when the doors closed no one knew what to do so she pushed the button to go up, the elevator began to move and no one explained to them what it was (because we just assumed they would know) and then they ended up on another floor, some of the boys asked to do it again, so we let them. They thought it was one of the coolest things the mall had to offer. Then on the second day with group two I had Misael walking with me. He’s in 4th grade and one of the sweetest kids I know. It was visible how excited he was to be going to the mall with us. We were walking in from the parking garage and I hopped on the escalator to go up with him, not thinking anything of it –again– but he’d never seen an escalator before, so he tugs on my arm and looks up and says “Meg, que es esooo” (what is this!) and just starts laughing. We got up four more to reach the food court and during this time, he’s just trying to examine the stairs — what’s making them move? Hard questions to answer in Spainsh, I told him it was a machine and electricty made it more. He just said que maciso (which is like “Awesome!”)with a huge grin on his face. I asked him later in the day what his favorite thing about coming to the Mall was and I figured he would tell me it was the movie…but no, it was the escalator hahah. Good this there were three floors and Kristin and Christian held escalator races after the movie.

More to come soon!

Check out some pictures of the past month!

Hey Family and Friends!

I have a little announcement to make.

As some of you may already know I have decided to extend my year of service and will now be working in Honduras until February/March 2014. It took me months to come to a final decision but I decided that this is the best path for me and what I really want. I am beyond excited to extend my time here and am looking forward to working at Amigos and taking on more responsibility. Following my time in Honduras I will likely be working in the office, Stateside until August 2014 but as always I promise to keep you updated about that.

We told the kids at prayer circle on Wednesday about this plan and I’m pretty positive that they are excited haha they might have been more excited but Wilson had made an announcement right before this about not having junk food on the property without premission soooo there’s that ahaha.

Also I will be coming to the US in June (Dates TBA) for about two weeks to help at Amigos headquarters in Malvern. And hopefully I will get to see some of you around.

We will be shipping a container out to Amigos shortly after that visit, when I get more information I will post a donation request list in case anyone is interested in donating things to get sent out for the kids  and for the Hogar.

I love these kids too much!

As fate would have it…

Jen and I led spirituality night for the volunteers this week. I told Jen I had been think a lot about charity, Amigo’s big picture and social justice. So, we decided to read to everyone The Judgement of Nations (Matthew 25: 31-46) and then discuss how it all relates. How did the reading make us feel? We ended up talking about hand-outs, charity organizations, Amigos de Jesus and how these things measure up against one another. Some felt that charity was a hindrance to bringing about social justice whereas others (myself included) said that it was a necessary stepping stone to get there.

I talked a little bit about how it’s hard for me to work at a home for children, to give all of myself to them and to then go on vacation in another city or town and be bombarded by children asking for money and food, and feeling torn about giving them them things when our own resources are limited, and then feeling guilty about not always being as giving as I know I should.

In January the seven of us went on vacation to Santa Rosa in Copan. It seemed like it was the weekend of people asking me for money and food. That comes with being a gringa(o) in central America. They see the white skin, light eyes and lighter hair and just assume you must have money. Which I guess would be true if I wasn’t volunteering this year and even so, I am probably still richer than majority Hondurans with just my stipend. Anyway, on our last day in Santa Rosa I was using some of my last lempiras to buy lunch before getting picked up. There were no seats in the fast food places left so I took my chicken outside to eat on the sidewalk with Kristin. While we were sitting there, a small boy came out of no where and he asked for some money. We told him we wouldn’t give him money and he talked to us for a couple of minutes and I asked him if he wanted cookies instead and he shook his head yes, a smile brimming on him lips. He told us his name was Jesus — he said you know just like…Jesus Christ (I was hungry and you fed me.) He told us he knew some English and practiced with us and we passed 10 minutes like that, just talking. We asked him about his family and he gave us no straight answer which was unsurprising. He told us his uncle taught him some of his english and that he used to go to school to but stopped going. He told us he had someone to share his cookies with, so I gave him my other bag and a soda to make sure he’d have enough. Just then the rest of our group came out and we introduced him to everyone. We told him we had to go unfortunately and gave him high-fives and wished him well and that was that.I remember wishing we could take him back to the Hogar with us.

When we got back to the Hogar that night I couldn’t stop thinking about Jesus and a few of the other street kids we encountered that weekend. Our boys at the Hogar are just like them, some have lived like they do and it was frustrating to know that these boys would most likely stay in the street. Why aren’t there more safe havens like Amigos? Or good parents? Or something! That thought drives me nuts every time I see kids on the street, selling goods or asking for money. So in their case I decided, I don’t feel bad about giving “hand-outs” or charity, I’d feel worse about ignoring them, but I would feel better if they were in school learning rather than on the streets and that’s why I try to make the effort to talk to the kids who ask for money and food as well.

Today I was working in the office and we were awaiting the arrival of a new child for Santa Rosa. Naturally it made me think of the boy we met there. I wondered how he was, if he was well fed, if he was still charming tourists. Then I thought about the conversation the volunteers had on Wednesday. It was funny how that day just keep popping up in my life. The car finally arrived, a little later than expected. And out popped a judge, a social worker, the driver and a 10 year-old boy. I walked outside to meet them, said “Hola, mucho gusto” to the adults and finally my eyes rested on the boy and guess who was starring back up at me? Yup, of all the kids to come from a small city they brought Jesus. My eyes started to water,not that anyone noticed and I just smiled at him. I told Abogada that I knew him from Santa Rosa but she didn’t get it what I was saying (or wasn’t listening.) So I just stood there smiling at him and I am pretty positive he had not even a small idea of who I was but he smiled back. It’s funny how things work out.