Watching them Grow

Changes at the Hogar

Thursday will mark our 7th month anniversary here in Honduras, more importantly it is the date that we received our first girl at the Hogar one year ago.

Amigos de Jesus has been a home to children since 1999 and in the last year- for the first time- girls have begun living here. It is an exciting time for the Hogar because it means we’re growing as a home but it also means that more families who are displaced or separated from their parents for a plethora of reasons will get to stay with their siblings. It isn’t uncommon in Honduras that siblings may get split up between orphanages and go years without seeing each other because of funding or restrictions. At least for ADJ, this hopefully won’t be the case anymore since we can now accommodate girls and boys.

It has been interesting watching the older boys interact with the girls. I think it has given them the opportunity to be more caring and loving…not that they aren’t but they treat the younger kids like their own siblings. Some of the boys favor one over another but almost all the little girls and our little boys have an older kid that they are attached to. And to get to see that connection is something really special. In addition to watching the older kids take care of the younger ones, having girls has allowed the boys to be with girls, to talk to them and to learn how to hang out with them. I remember the first month we were here, there was a party where people from Posas Verdes were invited and some of the boys were so awkward with the girls that I  felt like I was 12 all over again haha. I think the exposure to girls will help them out in their socialization process. 

Transitions

In the past 12 months, 8 girls have come to live at the Hogar, all of which have come with at least one other sibling. Most recently we got a family of three siblings from Tegucigalpa. Two girls and a boy.  [I shouldn’t have favorites but, this my favorite group of kids to the Hogar yet!] Their names are Yeson, Dulce and Myra. Yeson is 12, Dulce is 11 and Myra is 10. They are some of the sweetest kids we’ve received and are great in the classroom and helpful with the little kids. Seeing them arrive here 2 weeks ago made me think a lot about the kids we had received in our time here and how much they have grown. In the past 5 months 17 new children have come to live at the Hogar, most of whom came from INFHA or serious problem homes. You could make the assumption that many of them come with emotional baggage that usually presents itself in behavior for the first few weeks/months here, and that assumption would be correct. It’s funny though because each child is different, their stories are different and their behavior is different but they all follow a similar trajectory over the course of their stay here.  Most come in shy and timid, over the course of a few days their real personality begins to come out, they search for a place among the other kids and after about a month or so, they settle in and seem comfortable. More times than not, kids who have a history of acting up become more tranquilo (a Spanish word for calm or mellow) and have the opportunity to let their guard down and just be themselves. They don’t have to fight for food or shelter ect. and in providing them with the basic necessities of life, they are able to grow in so many new ways.

Sometimes I’ll be watching the kids and look at one of them and suddenly realize how much they have grown or changed in just 5 months. This is especially true for our newer kids. It amazes me the effect food, shelter and unconditional love can have on people. When we receive new children the main focus is showing them and having them understand that there is always food….ALWAYS. Many of these kids came from places where their next meal was never guaranteed so it is important for them to know that they will get three meals a day EVERYDAY. The next biggest thing that they need to know upon arriving is that they get their own bed and that it is theirs and nobody else’s. Usually the kids have little or no personal possessions so we take them down to the storage room and they get to help find new clothes (or new to them and lightly worn new clothes) and shoes. The combination of these three things has brought some of the biggest, most beautiful smiles I have ever seen to these children’s faces. Knowing that you have a bed and that you don’t have to share it with anybody is awesome for these kids. Also knowing that there is food…it just seems like a burden comes up off their shoulders and there is a sudden sense of relaxation (obviously not complete because they are still in an unknown place but in general.) My favorite thing is getting to help the kids look for new clothes in the bodega. I got to take Dulce, Myra and Yeson last week and it was just…awesome. No other word than that. They were so excited to pick out clothes, and they weren’t afraid to tell me if they didn’t like something (whichis good!), because they have options! Probably for the first time. They are the third group I’ve taken to get clothes down there, and it’s interesting because those kids that I took there in September still cling to me. It puts me in a really special position, that I’m not sure I deserve…but they remember getting clothes with me like I was the only person that could provide that for them…I’m not sure how to explain it, but it gives us a special connection and I really dig it. 

 

Revisiting the topic of changes over the past 5 months, again I find it really interesting to watch the changes take place in each child. Sometimes it’s a growth spurt, other times its a change in personality and sometimes it’s a change in drive. For example when we first got here all the volunteers and the teachers were having a problem with one kid who came from INFHA about a year ago. He was terrible. And about 3 weeks ago he walked up shyly to me after prayer circle and gave me the quickest hug in the world and said goodnight. I think my jaw hit the ground. This was a kid who had called me every bad word in my Spanish/English dictionary and then some, this was the kid who wouldn’t listen to anybody and tried to fight everybody. And then I thought about it and realized that over the past few months there had been less incidents. He was paying attention more in school, he wasn’t being as disrespectful and now he was hugging me (even briefly.) And I just smiled because something finally reached him. He still isn’t perfect but he’s begin to grow and for that I am thankful. It seems like time has begun to heal the wounds of his past and he might never be a textbook “good” child. But he is improving and that is encouraging to see. 

There has been more than a few times where I’ve thought or said to another volunteer in private that I haven’t liked a kid. I loved them, but they drove me nuts because they push my buttons the wrong way, or I just didn’t know how to respond to them. But some of those same kids have grown to be my favorites. I have watched them change as individuals, in how they deal with others and I love them. And I think that makes the difference for them, even when they drive everyone NUTS, we still love them. And even if we need space we always come back to them and try again. We try to be as nice as possible while still letting them know what behavior is right and what behavior isn’t right. They need that, they need that attention and to be shown that they are worth the effort…because they are worth it and because they deserve it. 

 

Enjoy some pictures from my times here!

First part of January

It seems like New Years was yesterday, and I mean that in the literal sense. I have no idea where time is escaping to these days. Since new years, things at the Hogar have been pretty mellow. The kids went back to Escuelita after a three week break and sice preschool has ended I opted to clean the bodega and to paint the chiquitos room. So far the bodega is proving to be a wise opponent and after 7 days I am still not done. All I can say is, it is amazing what people think to donate. For instance there is about 30 pairs of baseball pants, some of them are brand new…problem is, these kids think baseball is “feo”and “aburrido.” There is also a bag of football jerseys, football warm up shirts and about 1,000 xl t-shirts. Unfortunately our kids are neither that large or football players. The good news with the last donation is we will be able to make one (or both) of the following things: 1. blankets 2. mop heads. I am also sure we will be able to find something useful to do with the other items as well, it will just take some creative thinking which, lucky for us, we have a lot of creative thinkers! I also found a telescope in there that is digital and I’m excited to see if it works, because the kids have recently been interested in learning more about the solar system. As for my second project, I thought I would have started by now but the bodega will take a few more days to finish organizing. I will say that I am excited to start the painting the project though because I miss painting and it will be a nice break from cleaning. I am planning to do an underwater theme for the kids bathroom! Hopefully it turns out looking awesome and not like a sloppy mess. I am going to do the bedroom just one color because there is a lot of furniture in there and if I do a mural it will get blocked. I was however trying to think of good quotes for over the entryways if anybody has suggestions!?

Last weekend we went on our second retreat and stayed in a hotel/bio-park near Lake Yojoa. Amy and Wilson thought it would be a good opportunity to bring the boys who are 18+ years older for a retreat of their own. So about 20 of us left the Hogar for 3 day get-away. The place we stayed at was awesome, and I think it was a first vacation and certainly the first retreat for many of the boys, so they were beyond excited to be going to the lake for a few days, just the guys ( and 5 girls haha.) We left Sunday morning in two small vans and made it to the hotel at midday. The land that the park was on was absolutely beautiful. There were coffee farms on different parts of the land, a big river, a pool, walking paths and just acres and acres of land to explore. The volunteers stayed in a separate part of the property from the boys. Our retreat was based a lot on identity and individuality (because the last retreat was about community) and the boys stayed in the cabins that were up in the trees (they were AWESOME, we were a little jealous buttt nobody likes jealous volunteers so we didn’t hold it against anybody.) While our retreat was about individuality and identity the boys had a retreat about being men and what it means to be a man in 2013.

I was really proud of Amigos for holding a retreat for the boys..or should I say men? In Honduras a lot of topics go undiscussed – like sexuality, gender roles and being an adult (all of which are hugely important topics, in my opinion.) Amy, Wilson and three of the most respected padrinos lead discussion on all these topics for the guys. It gave them an opportunity to ask a lot of questions and get honest and open answers from the people they look up to the most. While they were learning about manhood, the volunteers took the weekend to do a lot of self-reflection. One of the days, the boys went to the lake for the day and while they were swimming, fishing and boating, we were at the hotel spending 8-hours in silence…I mean actual silence, no talking. At first I thought that it was going to be a really hard thing to accomplish but it ended up being fairly easy. I took the day and reflected a lot about the past 6 months, the upcoming 8 and what I want to do with my life. I’m not saying I came to any conclusions but it was nice to have the opportunity to think about it haha! I took some of the time to explore the area and there was some really breathtaking views. It was nice to spend a day in silence though, in all seriousness. There were no kids around and there were places to get to that were secluded. It was a good break. Coming back from the retreat we felt rejuvinated and ready to get back to work. This week we’ve been back at escuelita and doing the daily activities.

Yesterday we welcomed in three new kids. 2 girls and one boy. They are really sweet so far (fingers crossed they stay like that! 🙂 ) Chepe’s father, a family friend and his little brother came to visit from Philly and today Father Dennis is coming. Christian left for the US last week and we miss him already. The next two months are going to be crazy with visitors coming and going and with vacation time for the volunteers. Just less then 20 days until my parents come!! Can’t wait to be at the beach for a week, feeling so blessed 🙂

Things to look forward to!!
On Monday there is going to be a mass, dinner and dance for all the boys at the Hogar who are 18 years and older. The same ones who attended retreat are going to be celebrated. The fiesta is a celebration of these boys becoming men. The boys decided how they wanted to celebrate. They picked out the dinner menu, their dress clothes, their escorts and the order of events. All the young men had to pick a lady to dance the waltz too. All the volunteer females were chosen, along with a majority of the madrinas, a few other staff members and some girls from out of town. We are all looking forward to the night. Father Dennis is coming today so he will be doing the mass tomorrow. He does great homilies, so I am looking forward to that 🙂 also everyone has to look nice so it’s a good excuse to get cleaned up for the event.  

Pictures from The Epiphany Celebration

I’m not sure I updated everyone or not but we were able to fundraise close to 4,500 dollars for the Epiphany Christmas gifts this year. On the 6th we gave out these gifts. Here are some of the pictures I took! Please enjoy 🙂 

Ringing in the New Year

Happy New Year Everyone!! 

As I am finding with all holidays/fiestas down here, New Years was rung in with much celebration at the Hogar and a ton of fireworks, fire crackers, sparklers and a bon fire.  

I guess you could say we started our prep for the NYE the night before which I totally forgot about until now. Hondurans love tamales, and making them takes a lot of work. After prayer circle on the 30th Christian, Chepe and I volunteered/ felt peer pressured to help with the tamale making process. But, as with most things, it ended up being really fun. We had about 10 people in the kitchen, a good music station on and a lot of laughing inter-mixed with everything. Working in the kitchen was so much better because everyone is in a good mood, excited for new years and not afraid to joke around a little (even if it made things slightly slower.) We had two guests Mike and Phil from Philly visit for the past few days. The volunteers had no idea they were coming but they ended up being AWESOME. They helped in the kitchen that night and it was fun to watch/listen to them interact with everyone, I think they added a good level of energy to the mix which made the evening more enjoyable. It’s great to have guests at the Hogar not just because the kids get so excited about seeing new people but also because the 7 of us get a chance meet new people, hear about home and speak English. They were a great help in the kitchen. Since we promised to help shop for the 6th of January Christmas gifts the next morning and would be leaving at 7, Chepe and I called it quits at 12:30 ish leaving everyone else hard at work in the kitchen.

The next morning Chepe and I woke up  early to go to San Pedro Sula with Abogada and Kenyi to pick out the gifts for the kids. When we got to the car we found out they had been in the kitchen until 3am or later, so basically Chepe and I are losers for going to bed early. Anyway, we were pretty excited to get the opportunity to help with the gift process. When we got to San Pedro we split the gift list up. Chepe and I took care of getting the little kids gifts as well as all the backpacks and a few other extraneous items. Since we fund-raised so much money we were able to purchase nice brandname cleats for the majority of futbol lovers. We also bought 25 new soccer balls for the year and the best part is everything was 40-50% discounted…and I literally mean EVERYTHING in the whole store. We ended up spending a little over 2,000 dollars which is impressive with the amount of stuff that we got. We left with gifts for 70 kids, a surplus of cleats and soccer balls. We also accomplished this in about 2 hours. I was very impressed and am now beyond excited to be present for the 6th of Januarys’ gift giving, just got to wrap them first.

In our absence the rest of the volunteers were on chiquito duty for the day (which I am assuming was over-whelming and stressful for 10 hours.) When we got back around 3:30 in the afternoon we stored the gifts away, and Chepe and I got our butts in gear and cleaned up the dinning hall for dinner, went back to the house showered and got ready for dinner and then headed back to the comedor to set the tables and make the dinning hall bonito. Since the other 5 volunteers had been on Chiquito duty for the majority of the day we helped out with them and with the finished touches on a scrumptious turkey dinner. 

Following dinner we got ready for a dance party similar to that of Christmas. There was dancing for about 6 hours, broken up by marshmallows, cookies and the handing out of sparklers and poppers. The bon fire was one of the better ones I’ve been around and sitting around that was an nice break from dancing. And luckily the sky was really clear so all the stars were out. At midnight everyone gathered on the back soccer field and fireworks were set off. They also made what I can only describe as as a scarecrow. He is a symbol of the past year, and they blew him up with fire crackers…normal. It was pretty funny though and then everyone passed around hugs like it was there job and this was followed by 2 more hours of dancing. 

At a little after 2:00am the volunteers rounded up and headed back to the house (even though the party was still going strong) We popped two bottles of champagne and drank them and stayed up until 3:45 in our kitchen chatting. The boys called it quits and headed to bed around this time and the girls put their shoes on, walked up to the cross and lit our sparklers. Since it was so close to 4 and Mike and Phil were leaving at 4:30 we decided we would just stay up and see them off which turned out to be hilarious, mainly because we were sleep depreived and everything is hilarious at 4:00am. We met them at the gate said our goodbyes and at 4:35 finally climbed into bed and went to sleep. 

Here’s to a great next 12 months and hopefully everyone stays happy and healthy in the coming year 🙂